But, Do You Want To?
Not long ago I was struck by the words of a girl I know when I was contemplating a social event. As simple as they were, the words “But, do you want to?” have stuck with me this year and have become a foundation on how I build most of my decisions.
It’s no secret that my life has done a complete 180 since this time 2 years ago, and frankly it changes every day as I grow and learn more about myself and the world. So, on this particularly day I was struggling with all the social invitations I had received between April - May, and my dilemma was whether or not I wanted to go to the races - an annual event I’ve attended for at least 10 years now - because I’m not 100% sure if I agree with the idea of it anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a day out with my best friends; pimms, sunshine and reckless gambling used to be exactly what I wanted to let my hair down, but I just don’t know if that’s me any more. Add into the equation that my sister is getting married in Cyprus, I have hen parties to attend, my brother turns 30, my Mum turns 50 and my Dad’s birthday falls on the same day as my mums, so this left me anxious to have to do all these things in such a short time.
Sat in One Fine Day in Liverpool, I was discussing this with the girls when Shardene (from Don’t Diet Club) asked me “But, do you want to?” which I replied “I don’t know” thinking that would be the end of the conversation and I’d continue to bug myself over this for a few more days. But no… she hit me with it again “But, do you want to?”. Taken aback by being asked this twice my reply was still the same. We did the same dance around 5 or 6 times until my reply changed to “No, I don’t think I do” and… that was that. BOOM, I had my answer. I’m still not 100% sure if I want to go I won’t lie, but these questions made me realise that I don’t have to decide right away, or put pressure on myself to do something if it simply doesn’t fit into my lifestyle any more.
Fear Of Missing Out - for FOMO for short - is something I’ve struggled with my whole life, I used to go out every weekend, drink to excess, over indulge, and feel disappointed the next day for fear of missing out. The most powerful thing I have gotten from the words “But, do you want to?” is a sense on control and awareness that this is MY life, and that old lifestyle absolutely no longer serves me.
Personal growth and development comes when you’re ready to leave those things which no longer serve you behind and make a conscious choice to let in all those amazing things that do. Surround yourself with positive and like minded people who want to bring out the best version of yourself and you can’t go wrong!
And next time you have a dilemma ask yourself “But, do I want to?” and allow yourself to answer honestly, because the truth is you already know.
Thank you Shardene for having such an impact on me this year by not only inspiring me to go vegan, but inspiring me to life life my way… I bloody love it!!
Lots of Love